There's a lot you know about her. She was made just the same you were, she is not any different than you. There is nothing special about her, she can be completely described with words, adjectives, pronouns, images, experiences. You had talked to her, you have memories with her, you can imagine her, but you will never know what is her.
She wanted to become something better than her status allowed her to. She has to become something she hates and she is completely okay about it because she has to be grateful and pleasing. Oh, she is so fucking ungrateful! Please, I want her to take a cutter and slide it all over her face the entire night. She deserves where she is, she had to become the mess she is. She is silent, so silent everyone is in love with her silence and submission.
If she talked, she would be so annoying nobody would be able to even look at her. She is is so f#cking annoying, I really want to choke her to death.
She is feeling it right now. The despair, the beautiful taste of despair, deep despair, but she can't do anything about it. She is hungry for despair, she is hungry for stupid fantasies to take her and make she keep stood up.
Ah, she is such a good girl for them. She is eager to attend everyone and never look back at me again. She can't escape me, she can't. She is too deep into me to do so. She deserves it, she deserves her mind to dissapear, to rot and never be seen again. She deserves so much hate, to get punched and cutted and to scream as loud as her throat is able to, because she is so f#cking ungrateful! Can't she realize she has a life? People who cares about her? Because there's nobody around her but, it's obvious they all love her, she is the one who denies it, and refuses to accept their invisible but absolutely real love.
Oh, but she does her best. She is an accesory, you can look at her and tell other creatures how amazing she is. No, you won't do it because you are enough for yourself, why would you care about her? Please, take your feelings, your dissapointment, your anger, and throw it up at her so she gets encouraged and breaks her neck with a rope, because that is what you deserve, something to throw your frustration at.
It's hard to see anything away from that.
Look at the sky, it's peaceful, but they ruined it for someone else. "Someday God will take us there". # can't stand you, please, go away and never return again. # don't want to see, don't need to be better, don't need to get help because...there is none. Sitting on a room, full volume, noone near, it has been the happiest day because emptiness is the solution. An empty stomach, an empty desk, an empty mind, empty memories, no feelings. In heaven, everything is fine. I wish we both dissapeared. You are not certain about a thing, you don't care, you are feeling way too fortunate but this is nothing more than a nightmare which with most people is yelling and crying and...yet we speak, yet we cut.